Etiquettes of Everyday Life
Etiquette of Dreams
If you see a good dream, then relate i to someone who love you.
If an unpleasant dream is observed, one should sputter or blow three times
on the left side.
Do not reveal bad dreams to anyone.
Change sides when seeing bad dreams. (If sleeping on the right side, turn
to the left or vice-versa).
When one sees a bad dream read thrice " A'UZU
BILLAHI MINASH SHAYTAANIR RAJEEM WA MINB SHARRI HAAZIHIR RU'YAA. By doing
so this dream will have no ill-effects. (Muslim)
Etiquette of Dressing
* Eat, drink, give sadaqah (charity) and dress, but do not spoil it with
extravagance and pride. (Musnad Ahmad)
* It is permissible for the women of my Ummat to wear gold and silk, but
this is strictly forbidden for the men of my Ummat. (Tirmidhi)
* Whoever wear clothes of pride in this
world, Allâh Ta'âla will
dress him with clothes of shame on the Day of Qiyâmah.
* When wearing clothes and when performing wudhu, begin with the right side
first.
* A man should not wear woman's clothing,
nor a woman man's clothing, for Allâh's curse descends on such people.
* When putting on shoes, begin by placing the right foot into the right shoe
first.
* When removing the shoes, remove the left shoe first. (Bukhari)
* Do not walk whilst wearing one shoe only, either wear both or remove both.
The Etiquette of Du'â
These etiquettes are narrated in the Hadith. For reasons of brevity, only the
following summary and reference of each Hadith is mentioned instead of the
entire Hadith.
1. To abstain from haraam food, clothing and earnings. (Muslim : Tirmizi)
2. To make Duaa with sincerity. In other words, one should firmly believe that
nobody but Allah Ta'aala will fulfill his objectives. (Haakim)
3. One should perform a good deed prior to making the Duaa & he should
mention this during the course of the Duaa. For eg. He should say, O Allah!
I had performed so & so deed solely for Your pleasure. O Allah! accept
my Duaa due to the barkat of that deed. (Muslim, Tirmizi, Abu Daud).
4. To make Duaa whilst one is paak & clean. (Tirmizi, Abu Daud, ibne Majah,
Nasai, ibe Hibbaan, Mustadrak).
5. To make wudhu before the Duaa (Sihah-Sittah)
6. To face the Qiblah (Sihah-Sittah)
7. To sit as in the Tashahhud position (Abu Awanah)
8. To praise Allah Ta'aala at the beginning as well as at the end of Duaa (Sihah-Sittah)
9. To convey Durood upon Rasulullah ( ) at the beginning as well as the end.
(Abu Daud, Musnade-Ahmad)
10. To spread out both the hands. (Tirmizi, Mustadrak)
11. To raise both the hands up to the shoulders (Abu Daud, Musnade-Ahmad)
12. To sit with humility and respect. (Muslim, Abu Daud, Tirmizi, Abu Daud)
13. To mention ones helplessness and dependence. (Tirmizi)
14. To abstain from raising the eyes towards the sky whilst making Duaa (Muslim)
15. To mention the Asmaal-Husnaa (the names of Allah Ta'aala ) and the sublime
qualities Of Allah Ta'aala. (Ibe Hibbaan and Mustadrak)
16. To abstain from ceremonies rhyming of the Duaa phrases (Bukhari)
17. To abstain from saying the Duaa in a "sing-song" tone if the
Duaa is in a poetic form (Hisn)
18. One should make Duaa through the medium of the Ambiyaa (alayhimus-salaam)
and other Pious servants. (For eg. He should say. O Allah! Accepts my Duaa
through The good offices of these saintly people). (Bukhari, Bazzaar, Haakim)
19. To make the Duaa in a soft voice (Sihah-Sittah on the authority if Abu
Musa )
20. To utter the Duaa phrases transcribed from Rasulullah Sallalahu Alayhi
Wasallam because Rasulullah Didn't leave out a single need of the Deen nor
of the dunya whilst teaching us how to make Duaa (Abu Daud/Nasai)
21. To make a Duaa that encompasses most of the needs of Deen and the dunya.
(Abu Daud)
22. To make Duaa in favour of oneself first, thereafter ones parents and to
include the other Muslims in the Duaa as well (Muslims)
23. If the Imam is making Duaa, he should not make Duaa for himself only but
he should Include all the congregants in the Duaa (Abu Daud, Tirmizi, ibne
Majah)
Abu Daud (R.A.) Narrates that Rasulullah Said that the Imam who makes Duaa
for himself only, has betrayed the people." In other words, the Imam should
not Make a Duaa that is restricted to him alone. For eg. He should not say, "O
Allah! cure my son." or "O Allah! Return my lost item." etc.
but he should make a Duaa that includes all the congregation for eg. He may
say "O Allah! Forgive us and have mercy upon us."
24. To make Duaa with firm conviction (for eg. he should not say: "O Allah!
If you wish fulfil so and so task of mine." (Sihah-Sittah)
25. To make Duaa with enthusiasm & yearning. (Ibne Hibbn & Abu Awana).
26. As far as possible endeavour to bring about a "presence of heart and
mind" and cherish a high hope of the Duaa being accepted.(Haakim)
27. To make Duaa repeatedly. (Bukhari, Muslim)
This repetition should be at least thrice (Abu Daud)
Note One may repeat the Duaa thrice in none sitting or he may repeat it on
three different occasions. The "repetition of the Duaa" can be interpreted
in both ways."
28. To make Duaa earnestly and insistently. (Nasai, Hakim, Abu awanah)
29. To abstain from making Duaa of severing family ties or other sins. (Muslim,
Tirmizi)
30. Avoid making Duaas of pre-determined and fixed things (for eg woman should
not make a duaa of being transformed into a man or a tall person shouldn't
make Duaa thus:"O Allah! Make me short ." etc) (Nasai).
31. Don't Make Duaa for impossible things. (Bukhari)
32. Don't make a Duaa in which you ask Allah Ta'aala to confine His mercy to
yourself Only (Bukhari, Abu Daud, Nasai, ibne Majah)
33. Ask only Allah Ta'aala alone for all your needs. Do not depend upon His
creation. (Tirmizi/ibne Hibbaan)
34. The one making the Duaa as well as the person listening to it, both should
say Aameen at the end. (Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Daud, Nasai)
35. Rub both hands over the face at the termination of the Duaa (Abu Daud,
Tirmizi,ibne Hibbaan, Majah, Hakim)
36. Don't be impatient over the acceptance of Duaas. In other words, don't
say: "I've made Duaa repeatedly but to no avail." (Bukhari, Muslim,
Abu Daud, Nasai, ibne Majah)
Etiquette of Eating and Drinking
* The Barakah (blessing) of eating is gained by washing the hands and rinsing
the mouth before and after meals. (Tirmidhi)
* Recite Bismillah before eating. (Bukhari, Muslim)
* Eat with the right hand. (Bukhari, Muslim)
* Never eat and drink with the left hand because Shaytaan eats with the left
hand. (Muslim)
* Eat from the portion of food that is nearest to you, i.e. do not eat from
all sides of the plate. (Bukhari, Muslim)
* Do not eat from the centre of the plate, but rather from the side, as barakat
descends in the centre of the utensil. (Tirmidhi)
* Before commencing with meals, removes shoes as this relaxes the feet. (Darimi)
* When morsel has fallen from one's hand, clean it and eat it. It should not
be left for Shaytân. After eating, before washing the hands one should
lick one's fingers for one does not know in which portion of the food does
the barakah lie. (Muslim)
* Whoever eats from a plate and thereafter cleans it, that plate seeks repentance
on behalf of that person. (Tirmidhi)
* Do not get up (after eating) till the table is cleared.
* Always partake of food in company and utter Allah's name before eating, as
this will be a source of blessing for one. (Abû Dawûd)
* When partaking meals with another person, do not stop eating until he has
not finished eating; for this will embarass him. If one has to leave than offer
an excuse (Ibn Majah, Baihaqi)
* Rasoolullah salallahu alaihi wasallam never leaned on anything while eating.
(Bukhari)
* Rasoolullah salallahu alaihi never found fault with food. If he liked it,
he would partake of it. If he disliked it, he would leave it. (Bukhari)
* When commencing to drink first recite Bismillah. (Tirmidhi)
* After drinking water says Alhadulillah. (Tirmidhi)
* Do not drink directly from a water pitcher (or any water container). (Bukhari)
* Do not breath into the utensil nor blow into it (whilst drinking). (Tirmidhi)
* Do not stand and drink. (Muslim)
* Do not drink in one draught like a camel but in two or three sips.
* Do not drink from utensils that have chipped or cracked edges. (Abû Dawûd)
Etiquette of a Gathering
* A gathering is a trust. (any gathering
or a meeting is a confidential affair. After one has attended a meeting,
one should not go and relate the issue that has been discussed at the meeting.
This action constitutes a breach of trust and is a great sin). (Abû Dawûd)
* Do not cause any person to get up from where he is sitting and thereafter
sit on his place.
* It is desirable for those seated to make place for those who join the gathering
later. (Bukhari)
* When there are three persons in a gathering, then whilst leaving one person
aside, two should not discuss anything softly as this would offend the third
person. (Bukhari)
* It is not permissible for a third person to force himself to sit between
two persons without their permission. (Tirmidhi)
* People should not sit individually in
isolation but in a group close to one another. (Abû Dawûd)
* When one sees a Muslim brother approaching, even when there is sufficient
place, one should out of respect, shift a little (to make more place). (Baihaqi)
* Everything has a focul point (i.e. leader) and the focal point for a gathering
is the Qiblah. (Tabrani)
Etiquette of Greeting
1. That person is nearest to Allah Ta'âla who utters the salâm
first. (i.e. one who does not wait for the opposite party to make salâm
first.
2. Greet every Muslim, whether acquainted or not. (Bukhari)
3. Salâm should always be made before talking. (Tirmidhi)
4. When replying to a salâm that has been conveyed through a third person,
answer by saying: Wa Alaika Wa Alayhis Salâm. (Nasa'i)
5. After making salâm, if a barrier such as a tree or wall appears between
them (where the view is obscured) one should make salâm again when meeting
them.
6. A mounted person should greet the one who is walking, and a person on foot
should greet the one who is sitting; a smaller group should greet a larger
group and the young should greet their elders. (Bukhari)
7. When entering a house, make salâm to the occupants of that house.
8. When leaving that place (i.e. house), depart with making salâm (Baihaqi)
9. When entering ones own house, one should make salâm to ones family;
this will be a source of blessings for one and one's family. (Tirmidhi)
10. The completion of visiting the sick is by placing ones hand on the sick
person's forehead, and the completion of salâm is the shaking of the
hands. (Ahmad)
11. When two Muslims meet and shake hands, their (minor) sins are forgiven
before they depart. (Tirmidhi)
12. Do not greet the Jews and Christians ( i.e all non-Muslims) with the words
of salâm. (Muslim)
Etiquette of Reciting the Glorious
Qur'ân
* Perform wudhu.
* Sit facing the Qiblah and not higher
than the Qur'ân.
* Place the Qur'ân on an elevated
place. (desk, pillow)
* Apply fragrance (itr) before recitation.
* Recite the Qur'ân solely for the pleasure of Allâh.
* Read durood upon our Prophet sallallâhu
alayhi wasallam.
* Do not recite the Qur'ân with
haste.
* Recite the Qur'ân with undivided
attention.
* Recite the Qur'ân in a melodious
voice.
*
Recite
audhubillâh minashaytân rajîm
and
Bismillâhir-Rahmânir-Rahîm
before tilawat.
* Be constant with your recitation (daily).
* Complete (khatam) the Qur'ân at
least once a year.
* Ever effort should be made to recite
the Qur'ân
correctly (applying tajweed principles).
Etiquette of Resting and Sleeping
* Before going to sleep, dust the bed. (Bukhari)
* Sleep in a state of wudhu, lying on the right side. (Bukhari)
* Do not sleep, lying on the back with one leg resting on the other. (Muslim)
* Allah does not like a person who sleeps on the stomach. (Tirmidhi)
* Do not sleep on such a roof which has no means of protection on the sides.
(Tirmidhi)
* It was the practice of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam to rest in
the afternoon.
* Recite BISMILLAH while closing (locking) the doors.
* Cover all food and drink. If nothing is found to cover these, then place
a stick on the top. (Bukhari)
* At the time of sleeping always extinguish all fires, as it is your enemy.
(Bukhari, Muslim)
Etiquette of Sneezing and Yawning
When one sneezes, one should say ALHAMDULILLAH. (Bukhari)
In reply to this, one who hears (the person who has sneezed say Alhamdulillah)
should say YARHAMU KALLAH. (Bukhari)
The person who has sneezed must reply by saying: YAHDEE KUMULLAHU WAYUSLIHU
BAALAKUM. (Bukhari)
Whenever our beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam sneezed, he should
cover his face with his hands or with a piece of cloth, so that the sound of
the sneeze could not be heard too loudly. (Tirmidhi)
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam said: "When one yawns, cover the
mouth with the hand, as the full opening of the mouth allows the Shaytaan to
enter the mouth. (Muslim)
It is narrated in a Hadith, that when one yawns, one should not make the sound
'Haa', as this causes the Shaytaan to laugh. (Muslim)
Etiquette of Istinja
1. When going to the toilet, do not touch the private parts with the right
hand. (Muslim)
2. Do not cleanse the private parts with the right hand. (Muslim)
3. After relieving oneself, use three stones or three clods of clay. (Muslim)
4. When using the toilet, do not face or sit with the back towards the Qibla.
(Bukhari)
5. When intending to urinate, find a suitable place of privacy. (Abu Dawood)
6. Do not urinate in stagnant water (water that does not flow). (Bukhari)
7. Do not urinate in a bathroom, as many a time due to this, evil temptations
are aroused.(Tirmidhi)
8. Do not stand and urinate. (Tirmidhi)
9. Do not convers (with another person) whilst relieving oneself. (Musnad Ahmad)
10. Do not relieve oneself at riverbanks, roads and shady places where people
walk or rest. (Abu Dawood)
11. Recite BISMILLAH before entering the toilet, as this will serve as a veil
between the jinn and the private parts of humans. (Tirmidhi)
12. Do not perform istinja with bones or dung. (Tirmidhi)
Etiquette and Manner of Travelling
Our beloved Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam preferred to commence a journey
on a Thursday. (Bukhari)
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has forbidden one to travel alone. (Tirmidhi)
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam also disapproved of two persons travelling
alone. (Tirmidhi)
Rasullulah sallallahu alayhi wasallam advised that at least three persons should
travel together. (Tirmidhi)
It is excellent for four persons to travel in company. (Abu Dawood)
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said: "If three persons travel
together, one among them should be chosen as an Ameer." (Abu Dawood)
Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam has said: "If one has a sufficient
supply of food and drink, one should consider those (companions) who have nothing
at all." (Muslim)
When one returns from a long journey at night, one should not go home. (if
one had not informed his family of ones arrival). (Bukhari)
The noble habit of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam when returning from
a journey was to enter Madinah Munawwarah at the time of Chast (late morning).
He used to perform two rakaats salaat in the Masjid and thereafer remain there
for a while to meet the people. (Bukhari)
The leader of a travelling group is the one who presents himself for the service
of others. (Baihaqi)
If people who are on a journey have a dog or a bell with them, the angels of
mercy do not accompany them. (Muslim)
When travelling through green pastures, give the camels (or other animals)
their right by allowing them to graze at intervals. (Muslim)
When travelling in dry seasons (when there is no grass in the fields) then
hasten (so that the animals may reach the destination earlier and have a rest).
It is related in a narration that one should complete the journey before the
animals become lifeless. (Muslim)
Do not make the backs of an animal a mimbar (pulpit) (i.e. while mounted one
should not have a discussion, because this causes the animals unnecessary inconvenience.
If one decides to have a discussion then dismount. When intending to continue
then remount). (Abu Dawood)
On reaching the destination, loosen the reins and remove the saddle from the
animal, therafter perform Nafl salaat (or do whatever work one has to do).
This was the practice of the Sahaabah radhiallahu anhum. (Abu Dawood)
Do not tie gut around the neck of an animal as there is fear that the neck
might be severed. (Bukhari, Muslim)
When encamping in the jungle for the night, refrain from encamping on the pathway,
for different types of animals and deadly insects come out and spread on such
pathways during the night. (Muslim)
When stopping enroute a destination, everyone should remain together in one
place and not scatter away (from one another) (Abu Dawood)
When a person requests another to sit on the front seat on a journey, then
say: 'It is his privilege to do so.' If he persists, then accept. (Tirmidhi)
Travel is part of punishment: it prevents one from sleep, food and drink. Therefore
when the work for which the journey was undertaken is completed, one should
return home as soon as possible. (Bukhari, Muslim)
The Etiquette of Visiting
Translated from "Aadabe Mulaaqaat"
The Holy Qur'an commands: "When you enter homes, observe Salaam with
one another - a Salaam of blessing and purity from Allah." (Surah Nur
verse 61)
Etiquette:
1.Don't
enter anyone's house or room without permission. You are obligated to seek
their permission first.
2.The Islamic code of seeking permission
specifies that one should stand close to the door, (knock) and thereafter
say "Assalaamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi",
may I come in?
3.If this does not elicit a reply,
employ the same method of Salaam etc. a second and third time. After the third
time, if you fail to get a reply, consider it an inopportune moment for meeting.
There could be some valid excuse. Therefore, return and do not ever feel offended.
4.Whilst seeking permission to enter,
stand on one side. Don't stand in such a way that you can see inside. However,
if the host is right in front of you, make Salaam and seek permission to enter.
5.It is despicable to peep inside.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam vehemently forbade this.
6.Observe Salaam loudly even when
entering your own house and make your presence known to the occupants of the
house.
7.If you are asked: "Who is
there?", give your name. Do not say: "It's
me!" because the occupant does not know who is "me."
8.Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam
advised a Sahaabi thus: "Come
and meet me every alternate day (and not daily) as this would increase our
love for one another."
9.Avoid visiting someone during meal
or snack times. If you are compelled to visit at such times, first eat and
then go. However, if you are unable to eat and go, then do not lie to the host
that you have already eaten. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said: "Do
not bring lies and hunger together." However,
you may decline on some other pretext.
10.If you have to visit someone in
another city or town, inform him before hand.
11.Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam
strictly forbade reaching someone’s
home at night. In fact, he even forbade the people from returning to their
own homes at night without informing their families.
12.When you enter someone’s
home, enter with Salaam. The occupant of the house should make the first move
when it comes to shaking hands or embracing. If he does not make the first
move or he is busy, do not disturb him.
13.Do not observe Salaam when you
enter a gathering in which a lecture or lesson is taking place, nor should
you make Salaam when entering a Masjid in which people are engaged in Salaah
or other forms of Zikr. However, if someone draws your attention, you should
make Salaam silently.
14.When you enter someone’s
house, do not sit at the best spot nor sit on a place especially reserved for
the owner of the house. It is upto him if he wishes to seat you on his place
or on any other appropriate place.
15.The Qur'an orders both men and
women to lower their gazes. Be very particular about this at all times. When
you go to someone’s
house, do not look around.
16.Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam
advised us to be soft-natured and dignified. Always keep this advice in mind.
If you go anywhere, speak gently and act in a dignified manner. Do not touch
anything without permission. Do not stare at anything covetously nor act
as though you are impressed and awe-struck with the host’s pomp and
splendour, resulting in you suffering from an inferiority complex.
17.Do not sit nor converse for very
long. Once your work is complete, seek permission to leave immediately. However,
on the insistence of the host, you may remain until it is convenient for you.
When Others Come to your Place
"And when you are greeted with any greeting, offer a greeting more courteous
than that or (at least) return the greeting. Verily, Allah Ta'ala takes careful
account of everything." (Surah Nisaa Verse 86)
When anyone comes to your house, you are
Islamically obligated to give him a warm reception. Rasulullah Sallallahu
Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have said: "A mu'min is he who honours
his guest and is hospitable towards him."
Etiquette:
1.It
is Wajib (compulsory) to answer to the Salaam. The Qur'an urges you to ensure
that your reply is more superior, cultured and more vigorous than the Salaam
of the other person. For example, if you are greeted with "Assalamualaikum" add
on "warahmatullah" after "waalaykumussalaam" when replying.
2.The following words may be added
to the Salaam or to the reply: "warahmatullahi", "wa-barakaatuh" "wa-maghfiratuh." Rasulullah
Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam had promised ten additional rewards for every word
added to the Salaam.
3.Be cheerful when welcoming your
guest. Stand up and welcome him. Shake hands with him and if you are meeting
him after some time. Embrace each other as well. Thereafter, seat him with
respect.
4.The impoliteness of those who are
impolite towards you is obviously incorrect but when they come to your door,
ethics demand that you confront them courteously. Do not act peevishly. Meet
them with a cheerful countenance. Converse in a cultured and dignified manner.
5.The Arabs have a charming custom
of welcoming their guests with the following phrase: Ahlan wa Sahlan wa Marhaba,
which figuratively means: "Make yourself
at home. Everything you require is found and you are welcome."
6.Employ your discretion in welcoming
your guests. Determine their needs according to prevailing weather conditions
etc. Endeavour to fulfil their needs before they even request you to do so.
7.Ascertain the habits of the guest
in regards to his food, snacks, bathing etc. Make preparations for him according
to his habit and disposition. This will comfort him whilst eliciting great
rewards for you as well (Insha Allah).
8.Upon his departure, walk a little
distance with the guest and bid him farewell. Allow him to take leave from
you instead of you bidding him farewell first.
9.If you have some conveyance, offer
it to the guest.
10.Whenever anyone took leave of
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, he would clasp the former’s hand
with his own - out of love and affection - and he would continue holding the
other person’s hands until the person himself
drew his hands away. When bidding anyone farewell, he used to recite: "Astaudi'ullaha
Dînak Amânatak wa khawâtîma 'amalik."
Etiquette for Women & Girls
* Be seperated from men when walking.
* Do not walk in the middle of the path, but rather on the sides.
* It is advisable to use silver jewellery .
* The woman who adorns herself with jewellery of gold for pomp and show will
be punished. (Abu Dawood)
* A woman should always aplly Mehndi (henna) on her hands. (Abu Dawood)
* Rasullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam
has said: "A
women's perfume should be such, where the colour is visible and does not
emit a fragrance. (i.e. The fragrance should be of a light nature). (Abu
Dawood)
* A woman should not wear thin (see-thru) clothing.
* If a scarf is thin (transparent), then one should wear a thick cloth underneath
(the scarf). (Abu Dawood)
* Women should not wear jewellery that makes a sound (attracts attention).
(Abu Dawood)
* Those women who imitate the appearance of men, (including physical appearance
and dress), incur the wrath of Allah Ta'aala. (Bukhari)
Etiquette with Visitors
* The best action of Islam is to feed (the poor).
* Rasullullah sallAllâhu alayhi wasallam has said: "The person
who has faith in Allâh and in the hereafter, it is necessary for him
to be polite to his guests." (Bukhari)
* One remains a guest for three days, thereafter it is sadaqah. (The host
must entertain his guest for three days. More than that whatever entertainment
is made, will be regarded as sadaqah).
* One should entertain ones guest with special food for one day and one night.
(Bukhari)
* A guest should not remain at the place of the host for such a long time
that would either incovenience or disgust him.
* Whoever is invited and does not accept
has disobeyed Allâh
and His Rasul sallallahu alayhi wasallam.
* Whoever enters (a house) without invitation
(for meals), enters as a burglar and departs as a bandit. (Abû Dawûd)
Adaab of Conversation
1. Always speak the truth. Never hesitate in speaking the truth even at the
greatest risk.
2. Speak only when you must, and always
talk with a purpose. Too much talk and useless conversation betrays a lack
of seriousness. Your are accountable before Allah for every word you utter.
The Angel of Allah records. "A
supervisor remains vigilant to preserve on record every speech that is uttered
by his tongue."
3. Always speak politely. Wear a smile
on your face and a sweet tone in your speech. Always speak in a moderate
voice. Do not keep your voice so low as to be inaudible to the addressee,
nor raise it so loud that the addressee might be over-awed by your voice.
Allah affirms: "Surely! the harshest of all
the voices is the voice of the ass." [31 : 19]
4. Do not spoil your tongue with dirty talk. Do not speak ill of others.
Never indulge in backbiting. Do not complain against others. Never indulge
in mimicking others to ridicule them. Do not make false promises. Never laugh
at others, nor boast of your own superiority or indulge in self praise. Never
get unreasonable and rash in conversation. Do not pass remarks by a disgraceful
name. Avoid swearing frequently.
5. Always say what is just and fair regardless
of any loss of yourself, your friend or relative. "And when you say
something, speak what is just even if you are talking about your relative."
6. Be soft-spoken, reasonable and sympathetic in your conversation. Do not
utter sharp, harsh and teasing remarks.
7. When women happen to talk with men, they should speak in a clear, straight,
and rough manner. They ought not speak in delicate, sweet tone lest the listener
should entertain any foul expectation.
8. If the impudent with to entangle you in dialogue or altercation offer
them 'Salaam' politely and leave them. Those who indulge in loose talk and
absurd conversation are the worst lot of the Ummah.
9. Keep in view the mental level and outlook of them man you are talking
to so as to make him understand. If the addressee cannot hear or is unable
to catch your meaning, repeat what you have said before without any resentment.
10. Always be brief and to the point in your talk. It is unfair to prolong
discussion without rhyme or reason.
11. When you wish to explain the tenets of Al-Islam want to speak on the
teachings of Al-Islam be simple and clear and speak in a passionate and heart-warming
style. To seek reputation through oratory, to try to impress people with flowery
language, to seek popularity among people, to adopt a proud and haughty mein
or to deliver speeches only for the sake of fun and recreation --all these
are the worst habits that corrupt the man to the core of his heart.
12. Never indulge in flattery, or ingratiate with anybody. Always mind your
honour and respect and avoid anything below your dignity.
13. Do not interrupt and interfere in others' conversation without their
permission, nor intercept others conversation in order to say something yourself.
If, however, you must speak, do so with the permission of the other.
14. Speak slowly in a proper and dignified manner. Do not speak in a hurried
manner nor indulge in fun and jokes all the time as it degrades you in the
eyes of others.
15. If somebody puts a question to you, listen carefully to him and make
an answer after careful thought. It is simply foolish to answer the questions
without due consideration. If the questions are being put to somebody else,
do not be officious as to give answers yourself.
16. When someone is narrating something,
do not say "we know already." May
be he reveals something new and impresses you by his sincerity and piety.
17. When you talk to someone, give due regard to his age, status, and his
relationship to you. Do not talk with your parents, teachers, and elders in
a manner in which you would talk with your friends. Likewise, when you are
talking to youngsters, speak with affection and elderly dignity.
18. While engaged in conversation, do not point out towards any one lest
he should conceive any misunderstanding or suspicion. Abstain from eavesdropping
on others.
19. Listen more and talk less. Do not reveal your secrets to others. Once
you disclose a secret to someone, never expect it to remain a secret any more.